I Could Be…

ringo%20gun

I could be a rock star.
I could be brilliant.
I could be amazing.
I could be loved.
I could be every FUCKING thing I want.

However… I am a coward.
I’m so stupid I could bury myself in the sand.
Deal with that. Or not.

Third of May

walk-in-dark1


I walked down the streets.
Good thoughts were inside my head.
I ran and I ran. And I ran more.
I was looking for me.
My legs were going to explode.

Anyway, I had a very good reason to go on.
I was running from someone that wasn’t me.
I have a long journey to walk, I know.
But today, I feel whole. Complete.
I guess I found myself.

 

Still burns

Cannot run
Cannot hide
What I am feeling
Deep here inside.

I know I shoudn’t care about the way other people think
Or pay attention on what they dream for me
But what am I gonna do?
How can I tell something like that?
What about the people I love and care about?
How can I admit this feeling?
I’m not so sure of it, though
But I know it is here
Inside of me
Burning til I die
Ready to comes out
Need to scream my lungs out
But seriously, how?  How?
Still burns.
Sometimes I wanna die
I could simply die only to end this pain
But then I remember of my family
Of my friends
Of all the people I love and care about
And suddenly

(hold on! breathe for a while!)

I stop.

Feelings may be dangerous
And they could be fatal
So weird
Painfully weird
I have so many things to rearrange
To think about it
And mainly how to finish the right way
Everything must come to an end.
When this is going to end?

Until then…

(hold on again)

I should be careful
I should be patient
Try to end this pain
Putting all my suffering
All my sadness
In something good
Something I can do well
Amazingly perfect
Just wanna be great

I fear this isn’t going to end.
Oh wait
This is not going to end so early.
And you should know one thing:
I’m afraid of the last chapter.

Time flies
And I need some answers
Sometimes I feel I dont need them
But I need to know, actually.
No matter how painful they can be.

Inside my heart
There’s a lot of mess
And fear.

I’d give my two decades of life
To have a little peace of mind
And love
Just love
My way.

So, please
I’m begging you:
Accept me
For what I am
For the things that I do
For the things I’m not so sure about.

curtains close

Epilogue

Life isnt easy, buddie.
How can I finish this pain?
Just tell me 
How can I love my fucking way?
I’m a X
But they want to turn me into a Y.
Now can you understand what I am feeling?
Deep here inside.